Monday, May 7, 2012

AKA

1.YOUR REAL NAME
Michelle Justus Grant

2.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:(mother and fathers middle names)
Michelle Earl

3.NASCAR NAME:(first name of your mother's dad, father's dad)
Branson James

4.STAR WARS NAME:(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
Grami

5.DETECTIVE NAME:(favorite color, favorite animal)
Pink Puppy

6.SOAP OPERA NAME:(middle name, town where you were born)
Justus Trinity

7.SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Teal Pepsi

8.FLY NAME:(first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Mint

9.ROCK STAR NAME:(current pets name, current street name)
Baxtor Sealy

10. Adult Film NAME: (1st pet, mother's maiden name)
Goldy Coltrane

11.YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)
Mic-izzle

13.YOUR GOTH NAME:(black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Baxtor

14.STRIPPER NAME: (name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy)
Touch Milkyway

About Me:

Given a Hickey?
No I hate them
Had a one night stand?
no
Made someone cry?
yep.
Opened your Christmas presents early?
uh, no. I love surprises.
Been online for more than 10 hours in a row?
yes
Pretended to be someone you weren't online?
yep.
Eaten food that fell on the floor?
UH, duh. God made dirt.
Been caught cheating?
never cheated
Been caught naked?
I'm married
Flashed someone?
no 
Got into a fist fight?
yep.
Swallowed bath water?
yep.
Peed in the pool?
yea
Thrown up in public?
yes.
Been so drunk you can't walk?
no
Peed in public?
yes
Broken wind and blamed someone else?
yeah.
Done something mean you regretted?
yeah
Ever played pull my finger?
no lol

Monday, April 23, 2012

Haven't blogged in a little while..

Yesterday we went to my husband's papaw's church, since we had been promising since his mamaw passed away that we would come hear him sing in the choir. I just hate that we never thought about it until she was gone. He sang so good, and you could hear him over everyone in the church :)


Saturday the 21st, my family had a benefit for Papaw James. Well I guess it was tech for my Mamaw Ruth but in memory of him. We had biscuits and yard sale at 7, silent auction, hot dogs, car wash, and gospel singing! We did it all to raise money for Mamaw in order to help her pay off the funeral expenses. When I left after it was over the last count was $2,745.60 and that wasn't even all of it. My mom said there was a little over 3 thousand when it was all over with. God is so amazing!


Then last night we had awana's, I am so sad that it is almost time for this year to come to an end :/ I'm gonna miss teaching my babies every Sunday night! But I will be OK because I will get to enjoy Sunday night church with the new pastor. I'm excited to venture out and grow more as a child of God. So I will have to get my husband to come to church with me more on Sunday nights! haha








A few new pictures..

Right before a dinner date 4/20/12


Church bound with Papaw and Uncle Buddy 4/22/12


Dinner Date 4/20/12

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

What happened to family comes first?

Family means everything to me... but apparently not as much to some people. There is someone from my past who royally tried to ruin my family, tried to finanically destroy my husband and I. And now two people in our family (one on my side-and one on his) are STILL speaking to this person, still friends with this person, and still want to hang out with this person. Whatever happened to loyalty? What happened to family comes first? I guess this is one of those things in life I'm not ment to understand?!

Friday, March 30, 2012

Hurry up Julyyyyyy!

I am so beyond ready for July; not only will it mark the first yr down in my marriage, but it will be time for a much needed-well wanted VACATION! I cannot wait to see my in laws again, I miss them so much! I know most wives complain about their in laws, but I more than love mine. I think it helps having such loving supporting families, they really support our dreams and ambitions, not only supporting our love for one another. I believe whole heartily God not only saved a wonderful man for me, but he also gave me a wonderful extended family. I love each and everyone of them, and I am so thankful for them in my life. I don't know where we would be (Brad and I) without the love and support our families show us. They have nothing but good things to say about us, and high hopes for us as a married couple. I cannot wait to begin my family with him, and extend it with them. I know they will support us whenever God see's fit for our family to begin. If my mother in law had her way we would be far on our way to having a house full of grand babies LOL But in God's time it will happen for us, though I have serious baby fever right now. But anyways, I cannot wait to get down to Florida and start soaking up the sun, and spending time on the beach. It is much needed time away from the chaos of everyday life, and time away from the drama and stress of it all. So July hurry up! We are ready to spend some quality time with his parents. I wish there was a way for all of us to go together, Him and I, Brittany, Trever and Chloe, & Tabitha and Josh. But we wouldn't have enough room for all of us to stay, but man that would be a vacation!

Guess I should go now and begin getting ready for Movie Night at Shadybrook Elementary! Taking Bryson Lee to his school around 6pm tonight to go watch the Muppet's! Oh boyyy! ha ha Let's just hope he behaves himself tonight and acts his age?! LoL


<3 Always,
Michelle

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

And in the blink of an eye..

...everything can change. A month ago today, I didn't realize at all that later that night my life would change forever. It's still hard to wrap my mind around her not being a phone call or a short ride away, and being able to call and check in with her or say "I have a prayer request.." and hearing her say "well honey I'll be praying, now you be sure and keep me updated.. I love you baby" I will never forget those simple phrases she used. Never take your family members for granted, they may not be here tomorrow; ALWAYS tell them how much they mean to you every day. You may not get another chance. I certainly wish I had one more conversation with her.. so many things I wish I would've asked her, or just sat and talked with her more. But I know she loved me with all her heart; and I know she knows I love her more than the stars in the sky. So until I see her again I will hold on to all the memories I have and I hold them near and dear to my heart!

In the last year..

I have lost a total of about 40 lbs. And I feel so much better about myself, I don't think at the time that I realized how bog I actually was! I look back at pictures and I am shocked that it's me in those pictures! Still got a ways to go but I am so proud of myself.

Monday, March 26, 2012

When you can't find your way, I'll find my way to you.




This song makes me think about all my babies!


"When darkness falls upon your heart and soul.
I'll be the light that shines for you.
When you forget how beautiful you are
I'll be there to remind you.
When you can't find your way,
I'll find my way to you.
When troubles come around,
I will come to you.

I'll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on.
Be your shelter.
When you need someone to see you through.
I'll be there to carry you.
I'll be there.
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you.
The one that will hold on to you.
When you feel that rain falling down.
When there's nobody else around.
I'll be.

And when you're there with no one there to hold.
I'll be the arms that reach for you.
And when you feel your faith is running low.
I'll be there to believe in you.
When all you find are lies.
I'll be the truth you need.
When you need someone to run to .
You can run to me

I'll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on.
Be your shelter.
When you need someone to see you through.
I'll be there to carry you.
I'll be there.
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you.
The one that will hold on to you.
When you feel that rain falling down.
When there's nobody else around.
I'll be.

I'll be the sun.
When your heart's filled with rain.
I'll be the one.
To chase the rain away.

I'll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on.
Be your shelter.
When you need someone to see you through.
I'll be there to carry you.
I'll be there.
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you.
The one that will hold on to you.
When you feel that rain falling down.
When there's nobody else around.
I'll be.
I'll be."

Sunday, March 25, 2012

They say I'll be ok... but I'm not going to, ever get over you.

We went after church today to visit Brad's papaw and uncle Buddy, and it was the first time since the funeral that we have been in that house. I wanted to cry the entire time I was there, it isn't the same AT ALL. I can't feel her presence in the house anymore; and that breaks my heart. I still feel as if I'm in a dream, and I wish more than anything I could wake up from it. Today is the first time in weeks where I have actually cried more than a few tears. I wanna see her, but I know it isn't possible and I wish she'd visit me in my dreams just so I could maybe hear her voice just ONE more time. I'm afraid I'll forget what she sounds like, and that kills me. They say time heals all pain, but I don't feel like it has been healed at all. This has been the hardest thing I have ever had to go through in 23 years; and I don't ever wanna do it again, though I know I will have to eventually seeing as people don't live forever. I wish I would have been able to tell her one more time how much she meant to me. She was the only one in Brad's family who accepted me for a long time, and though I love them all dearly she was always my favorite, and no one will ever top her..EVER. I know she is home where she wants to be, and she is happy and in no more pain but I am selfish and I want her here with us. Life without her sucks..big time. I don't know how I can deal, I don't know how life can go on when my heart is broken. God I need your mighty hands to wrap around me and comfort my heart because this is the hardest thing ever, I never thought she would die --- take that back I never thought it was possible. This stinks! 

Friday, March 23, 2012

Christmas morning we all woke up together at my aunts house to open presents from Santa. Well after all the gifts had been opened my aunt went to cook some breakfast for the kids, apparently Brooklyn didn't want to wait, so she went in the kitchen and opened the fridge... and grabbed herself a pack of deli turkey and sat down with all the presents and began to eat away at the turkey. When asked what she thought she was doing she sweetly responded "I hungry chelsh" <3

My beautiful niece Chloe <3

Saw this on facebook and it made my heart melt..

Met a man today who has known his wife 80 years. They met in the first grade and have been together ever since. They have 14 grandkids and 7 great grandkids..he made me cry when he said, "The secret is, we do everything together. We go everywhere togethere. I've been around the world 3 times and never seen a woman worth replacing her for. Jesus made her especially for me, so I do what I'm told, the right way, the first time. Nothing else matters but her happiness." I want to know why love like that doesn't exist anymore....

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Next Tattoo Idea

Minus the name "Jamie" This is pretty close to being what I want, the next tattoo I get will be on my foot for my papaw Ray. I never met him and I want to get something in memory of him. I chose angel wings and my foot for the location simply because I want to simbalize him being my guardian angel guiding my path and placing my feet where they should go. On the other foot I will bedoing the exact same thing just with it being for bradley's mamaw for the same reason.

The "New Normal"...

Well it's going on the month mark since losing Mamaw, and things have gotten some what easier; although they will never be easy. I don't cry every night anymore but not one single day goes by that I don't think of her and tear up for a second. It breaks my heart that when I have children she will not be there at the hospital awaiting the happiest day of my life. That's the thing that gets me the most is that my children will never know the joy of going to mamaws house and getting their way lol. I will have to introduce my children to their mamaw at a grave side. That's not the way I expected things to be; not the way I wanted things to be. Things will never be the same, but I guess I will just have to get used to the "new normal" although I despise the new normal. I want things back to the way they used to be, when she was just a phone call away or hop in the car and go see her, when if I wanted to see papaw James all I had to do was drive 5 mins away. I hate the new normal, but I know God has a plan for me and for my life and I just have to wait and let him show me where he wants me.  I will make them both proud though,  I applied and have been accepted to college. So as soon as I finish my fafsa I can start figuring out what to do next. I will be taking classes online, for early childhood development, and I will make something of myself.  All I live for now is living life the way God wants, making myself happy, having a wonderful marriage, and making my loved ones proud.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Grandma's Hands. Something to think about...

Grandma, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench.. She didn't move, just sat with her head down staring at her hands.
When I sat down beside her she didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if she was OK.
Finally, not really wanting to disturb her but wanting to check on her at the same time, I asked her if she was OK. She raised her head and looked at me and smiled. 'Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking,' she said in a clear voice strong.
'I didn't mean to disturb you, grandma, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK,' I explained to her.
'Have you ever looked at your hands,' she asked. 'I mean really looked at your hands?'
I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point she was making.
Grandma smiled and related this story:
'Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life.
'They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor.
They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child, my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They held my husband and wiped my tears when he went off to war.
'They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special.
They wrote my letters to him and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse.
'They have held my children and grandchildren, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand.
They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer.
'These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of life.
But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of God.
I will never look at my hands the same again. But I remember God reached out and took my grandma's hands and led her home. When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children and husband I think of grandma. I know she has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God.

Tragedy strikes again...

A week exactly to the date that we lost my husbands mamaw, I was starting to be able to sleep with out tears again. I woke up on Tuesday the 6th and headed out to my aunts house to help her with Brooklyn, and a few hours later I got a txt from my mom telling me my dads dad "papaw James" was in the hospital and not doing well. Then my daddy txt me as well saying "James is in the ICU he had cardiac arrest" I had time to txt them both back and my phone started ringing, it was my brother so I didn't think anything was wrong. I answered "Hello?" he then said "Dad just txted and said James passed on" I went into hysterics; in a week I had lost 2 people I loved. I wasn't as close to papaw James as I would have liked but it does break my heart that he is gone, he was a great man and he always had a smile on his face. He will be greatly missed by our entire family.

Philippians 4:13

Philippians 4:13--I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.


The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called Failure, a loop called Confusion, speed bumps called Friends, red lights called Enemies, caution lights called Family. You will have flats called Jobs.


But, if you have a spare called Determination, an engine called Perseverance, insurance called Faith, a driver called Jesus, you will make it to a place called Success. Pass it on to ten people whom you want to see blessed. Don't forget to send it back to the one who sent it
to you.


May God continue to bless you.

Monday, March 5, 2012

The day our lives forever changed..

On Feb 28th 2012 I was babysitting my little cousin Bryson and watching out for my granny while my aunt was at the hospital visiting my uncle. I was cleaning the house and getting some laundry started, I didn't realize then that my life was soon about to change. As I was getting the laundry started my phone rang "Your love is better" by Scotty McCreery played and I smiled because I knew it was my husband. I answered the phone and knew immediately something was wrong, he didn't pick back with me when I answered "What do you want????!" He simply said "My mom called..." and then I remembered "Oh my gosh..your mamaw" She was scheduled for surgery that morning and I had yet to hear anything all day on how she was doing, it was almost 5pm and her surgery started at 7:30am. I had been so busy all day that I hadn't even thought about the fact that I hadn't heard anything. He told me that his mom had called him and she was crying so hard he could hardly understand her, but that he heard her say we needed to get to the hospital as fast as we could that things weren't looking good. I quickly called my mom to get her to come and stay with Bryson so I could leave. I got to the hospital and everyone had been in tears, and still no one had heard anything. About an hour passed and the doctor came out and wanted to speak with Papaw and the 5 children in a separate room, I instantly knew something was wrong. It seemed like an eternity before anyone came back out, but I'm sure it wasn't that long. My husband's uncle Buddy came out, and he was crying so hard he couldn't finish his statement, all he could say was "Guys mamaw isn't going to make it, they..." then Brad's mom  stepped in and finished "The doctor has done all he can do, but Mamaw has a lot of internal bleeding and there isn't anything else they can do" The entire room burst into loud sobbing. I fell into Brad's arms and cried I think the most tears I had ever cried. They took us up to the ICU and let us 2 by 2 to say our goodbyes. After about 4-5 people went in her preacher Jack came out and asked who else needed to go back that it was only gonna be a few more mins. So brad and I raced down the hallway, and when I entered her room I burst into tears and I grabbed her hand and whispered that I loved her. I walked out of her room and down the hall not knowing that my future would be full of lonely feeling days and sadness :/