In the last year..

I have lost a total of about 40 lbs. And I feel so much better about myself, I don't think at the time that I realized how bog I actually was! I look back at pictures and I am shocked that it's me in those pictures! Still got a ways to go but I am so proud of myself.

When you can't find your way, I'll find my way to you.

This song makes me think about all my babies!


"When darkness falls upon your heart and soul.
I'll be the light that shines for you.
When you forget how beautiful you are
I'll be there to remind you.
When you can't find your way,
I'll find my way to you.
When troubles come around,
I will come to you.

I'll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on.
Be your shelter.
When you need someone to see you through.
I'll be there to carry you.
I'll be there.
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you.
The one that will hold on to you.
When you feel that rain falling down.
When there's nobody else around.
I'll be.

And when you're there with no one there to hold.
I'll be the arms that reach for you.
And when you feel your faith is running low.
I'll be there to believe in you.
When all you find are lies.
I'll be the truth you need.
When you need someone to run to .
You can run to me

I'll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on.
Be your shelter.
When you need someone to see you through.
I'll be there to carry you.
I'll be there.
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you.
The one that will hold on to you.
When you feel that rain falling down.
When there's nobody else around.
I'll be.

I'll be the sun.
When your heart's filled with rain.
I'll be the one.
To chase the rain away.

I'll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on.
Be your shelter.
When you need someone to see you through.
I'll be there to carry you.
I'll be there.
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you.
The one that will hold on to you.
When you feel that rain falling down.
When there's nobody else around.
I'll be.
I'll be."

They say I'll be ok... but I'm not going to, ever get over you.

We went after church today to visit Brad's papaw and uncle Buddy, and it was the first time since the funeral that we have been in that house. I wanted to cry the entire time I was there, it isn't the same AT ALL. I can't feel her presence in the house anymore; and that breaks my heart. I still feel as if I'm in a dream, and I wish more than anything I could wake up from it. Today is the first time in weeks where I have actually cried more than a few tears. I wanna see her, but I know it isn't possible and I wish she'd visit me in my dreams just so I could maybe hear her voice just ONE more time. I'm afraid I'll forget what she sounds like, and that kills me. They say time heals all pain, but I don't feel like it has been healed at all. This has been the hardest thing I have ever had to go through in 23 years; and I don't ever wanna do it again, though I know I will have to eventually seeing as people don't live forever. I wish I would have been able to tell her one more time how much she meant to me. She was the only one in Brad's family who accepted me for a long time, and though I love them all dearly she was always my favorite, and no one will ever top her..EVER. I know she is home where she wants to be, and she is happy and in no more pain but I am selfish and I want her here with us. Life without her sucks..big time. I don't know how I can deal, I don't know how life can go on when my heart is broken. God I need your mighty hands to wrap around me and comfort my heart because this is the hardest thing ever, I never thought she would die --- take that back I never thought it was possible. This stinks! 

Christmas morning we all woke up together at my aunts house to open presents from Santa. Well after all the gifts had been opened my aunt went to cook some breakfast for the kids, apparently Brooklyn didn't want to wait, so she went in the kitchen and opened the fridge... and grabbed herself a pack of deli turkey and sat down with all the presents and began to eat away at the turkey. When asked what she thought she was doing she sweetly responded "I hungry chelsh" <3

My beautiful niece Chloe <3

Saw this on facebook and it made my heart melt..

Met a man today who has known his wife 80 years. They met in the first grade and have been together ever since. They have 14 grandkids and 7 great grandkids..he made me cry when he said, "The secret is, we do everything together. We go everywhere togethere. I've been around the world 3 times and never seen a woman worth replacing her for. Jesus made her especially for me, so I do what I'm told, the right way, the first time. Nothing else matters but her happiness." I want to know why love like that doesn't exist anymore....

Next Tattoo Idea

Minus the name "Jamie" This is pretty close to being what I want, the next tattoo I get will be on my foot for my papaw Ray. I never met him and I want to get something in memory of him. I chose angel wings and my foot for the location simply because I want to simbalize him being my guardian angel guiding my path and placing my feet where they should go. On the other foot I will bedoing the exact same thing just with it being for bradley's mamaw for the same reason.