Hurry up Julyyyyyy!

I am so beyond ready for July; not only will it mark the first yr down in my marriage, but it will be time for a much needed-well wanted VACATION! I cannot wait to see my in laws again, I miss them so much! I know most wives complain about their in laws, but I more than love mine. I think it helps having such loving supporting families, they really support our dreams and ambitions, not only supporting our love for one another. I believe whole heartily God not only saved a wonderful man for me, but he also gave me a wonderful extended family. I love each and everyone of them, and I am so thankful for them in my life. I don't know where we would be (Brad and I) without the love and support our families show us. They have nothing but good things to say about us, and high hopes for us as a married couple. I cannot wait to begin my family with him, and extend it with them. I know they will support us whenever God see's fit for our family to begin. If my mother in law had her way we would be far on our way to having a house full of grand babies LOL But in God's time it will happen for us, though I have serious baby fever right now. But anyways, I cannot wait to get down to Florida and start soaking up the sun, and spending time on the beach. It is much needed time away from the chaos of everyday life, and time away from the drama and stress of it all. So July hurry up! We are ready to spend some quality time with his parents. I wish there was a way for all of us to go together, Him and I, Brittany, Trever and Chloe, & Tabitha and Josh. But we wouldn't have enough room for all of us to stay, but man that would be a vacation!

Guess I should go now and begin getting ready for Movie Night at Shadybrook Elementary! Taking Bryson Lee to his school around 6pm tonight to go watch the Muppet's! Oh boyyy! ha ha Let's just hope he behaves himself tonight and acts his age?! LoL


<3 Always,
Michelle

And in the blink of an eye..

...everything can change. A month ago today, I didn't realize at all that later that night my life would change forever. It's still hard to wrap my mind around her not being a phone call or a short ride away, and being able to call and check in with her or say "I have a prayer request.." and hearing her say "well honey I'll be praying, now you be sure and keep me updated.. I love you baby" I will never forget those simple phrases she used. Never take your family members for granted, they may not be here tomorrow; ALWAYS tell them how much they mean to you every day. You may not get another chance. I certainly wish I had one more conversation with her.. so many things I wish I would've asked her, or just sat and talked with her more. But I know she loved me with all her heart; and I know she knows I love her more than the stars in the sky. So until I see her again I will hold on to all the memories I have and I hold them near and dear to my heart!

In the last year..

I have lost a total of about 40 lbs. And I feel so much better about myself, I don't think at the time that I realized how bog I actually was! I look back at pictures and I am shocked that it's me in those pictures! Still got a ways to go but I am so proud of myself.

When you can't find your way, I'll find my way to you.

This song makes me think about all my babies!


"When darkness falls upon your heart and soul.
I'll be the light that shines for you.
When you forget how beautiful you are
I'll be there to remind you.
When you can't find your way,
I'll find my way to you.
When troubles come around,
I will come to you.

I'll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on.
Be your shelter.
When you need someone to see you through.
I'll be there to carry you.
I'll be there.
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you.
The one that will hold on to you.
When you feel that rain falling down.
When there's nobody else around.
I'll be.

And when you're there with no one there to hold.
I'll be the arms that reach for you.
And when you feel your faith is running low.
I'll be there to believe in you.
When all you find are lies.
I'll be the truth you need.
When you need someone to run to .
You can run to me

I'll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on.
Be your shelter.
When you need someone to see you through.
I'll be there to carry you.
I'll be there.
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you.
The one that will hold on to you.
When you feel that rain falling down.
When there's nobody else around.
I'll be.

I'll be the sun.
When your heart's filled with rain.
I'll be the one.
To chase the rain away.

I'll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on.
Be your shelter.
When you need someone to see you through.
I'll be there to carry you.
I'll be there.
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you.
The one that will hold on to you.
When you feel that rain falling down.
When there's nobody else around.
I'll be.
I'll be."

They say I'll be ok... but I'm not going to, ever get over you.

We went after church today to visit Brad's papaw and uncle Buddy, and it was the first time since the funeral that we have been in that house. I wanted to cry the entire time I was there, it isn't the same AT ALL. I can't feel her presence in the house anymore; and that breaks my heart. I still feel as if I'm in a dream, and I wish more than anything I could wake up from it. Today is the first time in weeks where I have actually cried more than a few tears. I wanna see her, but I know it isn't possible and I wish she'd visit me in my dreams just so I could maybe hear her voice just ONE more time. I'm afraid I'll forget what she sounds like, and that kills me. They say time heals all pain, but I don't feel like it has been healed at all. This has been the hardest thing I have ever had to go through in 23 years; and I don't ever wanna do it again, though I know I will have to eventually seeing as people don't live forever. I wish I would have been able to tell her one more time how much she meant to me. She was the only one in Brad's family who accepted me for a long time, and though I love them all dearly she was always my favorite, and no one will ever top her..EVER. I know she is home where she wants to be, and she is happy and in no more pain but I am selfish and I want her here with us. Life without her sucks..big time. I don't know how I can deal, I don't know how life can go on when my heart is broken. God I need your mighty hands to wrap around me and comfort my heart because this is the hardest thing ever, I never thought she would die --- take that back I never thought it was possible. This stinks! 

Christmas morning we all woke up together at my aunts house to open presents from Santa. Well after all the gifts had been opened my aunt went to cook some breakfast for the kids, apparently Brooklyn didn't want to wait, so she went in the kitchen and opened the fridge... and grabbed herself a pack of deli turkey and sat down with all the presents and began to eat away at the turkey. When asked what she thought she was doing she sweetly responded "I hungry chelsh" <3

My beautiful niece Chloe <3